It was an idea I had to try to free myself from the pawnshop. Over the last year, for various reasons I had gotten so deep in to the pawnshop that my interest payments meant that I was basically working for half price. But I saw a way out. The pawnshop I deal with was having their 30th anniversary, and were offering A month of no interest loans. So I took all of my stuff out of the pawnshop, and I re-pawned everything for no interest on November 30th, knowing that my December paycheck would be coming on the 22nd.
Part 1: December 1-22
Spend as little money as possible
Borrow from co-workers if necessary (at their insistence)
No going to the pawnshop
(Oh, and my driver side tire is completely bald and about to blowout, fun)
Restricted. To work. (3 mi) To home. (3 mi)
Buy groceries on November 30th
21 Day Diet:
Brown Rice (from already purchased 15 pound bag)
2/$1 corner-store nuts (shut… up… Ken)
Small $.79 bricks of sharp cheddar cheese
$.69 cans of… tuna? It’s probably tuna…
$.49 cans of peas
Veganaise Already Purchased
Bulk homemade Crock-Pot lamb curry
Yeah, OK so that basically worked out. I can’t say that I didn’t go back to the pawnshop, at all. But I definitely was able to restrict myself with a bit of willpower. I wound up borrowing $20 from one coworker and $60 for another. After that I just could not bring myself to borrow anymore. I guess I do have a little pride left. So in the end I went back to the pawnshop for about $140 with the fast charger for my car and a WebCam. That just shows you the kind of people I deal with at this particular pawnshop. They don’t actually take WebCams but they loaned me 20 bucks because they knew I was trying to stretch it out until the 22nd. If my tire hadn’t been about to blow, and I could’ve driven Uber, I am reasonably certain that I could’ve made it all the way to the 22nd without having to go back, but it is what it is.
The tire made it, so that’s good. I did a podcast with Ken, and that took up some time. But I’ll be honest here, the diet did get a little boring. Lamb Curry is delicious but when you have it every single day for lunch, that shit gets monotonous… delicious but monotonous… “delotonous”… that’s copyright Ev. I may have driven my coworkers nuts with the: “just three more days, just two more days,” crap. Sorry about that, guys.
But the point is I made it, December 22, Friday… here comes part two.
Part 2: December 22 – 31 (six weeks until next payday)
Get the car in working order,
Redeem property from the pawnshop
Spend as little money as possible until December 31
Earn as much money as possible from Uber before December 31
(Electric car – fuel costs deferred on power bill until February)
Day one, out the door at 6:50 AM, (I don’t usually get a lot of sleep on the night before payday) at the tire shop by 7 AM, tire acquired by 8 AM. As I’m pulling out of the tire shop I see a little warning light come on: “key-fob battery low”… OK… well it’s payday, I’ll go to get one of those. After two places tried, battery acquired by 9 AM. The plan is going well. Unfortunately for the rest of the day’s plan, I had two biscuits from a local fast food establishment. This caused me to subsequently pass out somewhere, I’m not exactly sure where, around 11 AM. I woke up around 5:30 PM in some kind of biscuit activated food coma haze. Did I make it to the pawnshop by 7 PM? No, no I did not.
Day two, no biscuits and I made it to the pawnshop when they opened at 9:30. I got my fast charger, WebCam and all remaining property out of pawn.
I’m glad to say that the next several days went exactly as planned. I would do some runs, charge, do some things around the house, then some more runs, etc. etc. etc. then, on Friday the 29th that came to a screeching halt.
So on Friday night, I took three runs for Uber. The first one was a very short trip for two guys in blue blazers, maybe mid 20s, from a local bar to a house down the street. It was actually kind of funny, because when they pulled up to the house it was this huge beautiful house on the water and one of them said they needed to reevaluate how they live their life. The second one was a group of very nice ladies, maybe mid 40s, out on a girls night out. It was also a very short trip from a local bar (I get a lot of those) to… a different local bar down at the beach. Hey, they were on a girls night out.
I immediately got another call from just down the street and I picked up a young girl, maybe mid 20s or younger. She mentioned that her friend had called her the Uber, and I realized that her name was not the name I had on the ride, this happens. She said she was going to a friends house in the direction of my house. That was perfect because I was ready for a charge anyway. So I dropped her off, came home… and passed out for the rest of the night.
When I got up, there were keys in the backseat of my car. They have a teddy bear on them… I report this to Uber. I try to go about my day, but I’ve got someone’s keys in my glove compartment. All day Saturday I try to find out whose keys I have in my glove compartment, with a teddy bear. All I can think about is that someone is locked out of their house, and their car, and I have to wait until Uber responds to find out who’s they are. And there’s a bear staring at me.
So Sunday I couldn’t take it anymore, I luckily got a call from the second party who said they definitely weren’t theirs. That only left rides one and three. Now, this may sound sexist but I did not think the teddy bear keys belong to the two blue blazer guys. If that is sexist, then I accept that. I then started thinking about the third ride. I figured they had to be her keys. During the ride she had told me that she was a local bartender at that she had gotten cut early. Unfortunately, because her friend had called her the ride I did not know her name… perfect. And there’s a fucking bear staring at me.
So I decided to go down to that bar and see if anyone there knew who she was. I left my number and found out from the bartender working that there were two bartenders who were cut early on Friday night. I left, and about five minutes later she called me, so keys returned. Bear problems solved.
I was about to get mad that I just burned one and a half days on finding someone’s keys. But then I realized I actually didn’t spend any money for one and a half days so it weirdly worked out in my favor. Also, I didn’t have a fucking bear staring at me which was definitely a bonus, because that thing was REALLY starting to creep me out.
The rest of the week went as expected: riding, charging, riding, charging. New Year’s Eve went pretty smoothly I worked until 3:40 AM and cashed out before the clock rolled over so I was paid out immediately. Which brings me to right now.
It’s January 1, 2018 and #DisciplineDEBTcember is over.
Was it fun? No.
Was it interesting? Yeah, it was all right.
Did you miss the part about weed? So… did… I.
Worth it? We’ll see on Jan 31.
With four-ish weeks to go until my next paycheck, I have another batch of curry in the freezer, more broccoli and the rest, and to finish all bonds with the pawnshop forever I begin:
Please stop sending in
Ken would appreciate it.